An Unintentional, but Much Needed Break

I thoroughly apologize. I apologize to the internet-wide public, to my new readers, to my faithful followers, to my family who read for news, and most importantly, to myself.

I did not mean to take a 2 week break from blogging. 

There have been a lot of life-changing plans, news, decisions, and worries introduced into my life in November and I got overwhelmed. My husband says I'm one of the strongest people he knows (he doesn't mean physically--no, definitely not physically). But, I tend to disbelieve him (although I'd like to).

Via

I won't bore you with the terrible times I've had lately, nor the good and bad news I've received--both of which have affected me. But I will tell you, it was all I could do to get up every morning, at least put my hair up in a bun, drive to school, and barely teach through the day before coming home and falling asleep. I was thus affected even during Thanksgiving (symptoms including a headache and upset stomach) so that I only had 1 small plate and barely any dessert.

I don't like to self-diagnose, but I honestly believe I have been suffering a case of depression. Case and point--food didn't interest me, reading and blogging didn't interest me. I just wanted to sleep. No grading, no teaching, no prepping, no cleaning, no cooking, no getting dressed, no writing, no nothing. This mentality got worse as I physically got sick as well.

Via

Things got to a breaking point last week after a huge fight with my mom and then the snow. Now fights always have a big mental impact on me--I get butterflies in my stomach, feel nauseous, guilty, and very paranoid after. Then, adding to that the first snow storm in Utah of the year and I have a 45 minute commute in a 1998 Mercury Grand Marquis with rear-tire drive and hardly any traction? Major freak out. It took me 2 hours in the snow in the morning driving on the interstate, passing by swerving cars and crashes to get to school. It took about an hour and ten minutes to get to my doctor's appointment after school (only about 7 miles away from home), 45 minutes to get home, and an hour to take my sister home (she lives less than 2 miles away) and come back. No way I wanted to drive again in the morning. But I did, and it was hard going--the car barely moved in the snow. After trying to go 3 miles in 20 minutes, I decided to call in--no way I was going to attempt the interstate. I turned around and headed home. Two blocks away from home, I got pulled over and the police officer surprised me by telling me I was driving on the rim of one of my tires--it was flat! No wonder! We had to get it towed, but I had a meltdown..

As you can see, its been hard. This weekend I finally felt well enough to lesson plan, dress cute, put makeup on, and get out of the house for my sister's 21st birthday dinner. And, get up this morning, go to church, clean the house, and play games with my husband. It has been the first day I've genuinely felt happy in the past two weeks.

Via

I do want to thank my husband for being such a wonderful man during this time period. He has his own stresses with being a full-time student and trying to find a full-time job for when he graduates in the spring. But, he was extra strong and patient for me during this time. He made most of the meals, did most of the errands, and did most of the dishes. Thank you, Justin, for being the perfect match for me and giving me hope.

There are a lot of things in my life that are changing, so please be patient as I make adjustments. They are all good things, don't you worry, but stressful and big nonetheless.