Showing posts with label self-image. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-image. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

6 Ways to Love Your Body

The majority of women at one point in time or other suffer from low self-confidence and low self-image. I've always been one of those. But, during college, I worked hard to love myself and my body. Then, I got pregnant. I won't lie, I looked awesome and amazing pregnant. However, now that I'm not pregnant anymore, I miss my old body. I miss my old weight, my old shape, I miss not having the pudge I do now, I miss having a clear face, and I miss having my full head of hair rather than this continuous hair falling out.

However, always listing what you don't like about your body and yourself will just make the way you feel worse. Just as we should focus on gratitude to improve our relationship with Christ, we should focus on the positives of our body to love ourselves.

So, Sharlee, from My New Lines, and I decided to come up with 6 ways to love your body.


Tayler

Have a Gratitude List

Not only can gratitude lists apply to your religious or every day life, it can also help you love your body more. List out what you do love about your body. For me, even though I have terrible eyesight and can't really wear contacts, I love the color of my eyes. Even though my hair is falling out, I adore how red it is in the sunlight. Even though I have super pale skin, my ankles rock! In fact, skip the "even thoughs"! Just list what you love: I love the color of my eyes, the color of my hair, my ankles, my smile, my freckles, my curves.

Be An Example

I didn't know much about the specifics of grammar when I started teaching it to my 7th grade students. But, I learned as I went, and I began to love diagramming and labeling sentences. I was enthusiastic and an expert for my students...but it definitely didn't start out that way. Do the same with your body. You don't want your kids, especially your daughters to be body-shaming themselves. So, set the example now. Fake it until you make it. Don't obsess over scale-goals, calorie-counts, top-fashion clothes, expensive brands, etc. Be yourself, be happy, be confident, and that will bleed over into your children's mentalities. Again, fake it until you make it. If it's hard to concentrate on yourself, concentrate on your children's body. Tell them directly what you love about them. They will then take that example and eventually begin to do the same for you and others.

Set Small Steps and Goals

We all would love to hit the ground running and immediately see success in our body. But, that's not going to happen. Set small goals and try to focus on your overall life. Take a walk to the park, take the stairs, have a healthy lifestyle, read a book instead of watching trash-TV, smile more, take 10 extra minutes to do your hair and put basic makeup on, wear a clean shirt, enjoy hobbies, grow talents. By focusing on your life as a whole, you will come to have more self-confidence and be prouder of your self-image.


Sharlee

Screen Your Messages

In our day it's not uncommon to let your ringing phone go to voicemail if you don't know the number. We want to avoid any social situations that we're not comfortable being in. It's harder to screen the messages we're spent daily. Whether it's your current workout buddy or the fitness Instagram account you follow, make sure the way the messages you get from those things impact you is positive. It's nobody's fault if it's not. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you or the other person, but if you find yourself feeling down or bad about yourself--remove the cause. Once you've made some progress, see if you can add some of those things back in without receiving those negative messages. I think this is a very important process for all things--not just body image--and something we need to have an awareness of at all times.


Move Your Body

Do things that make you FEEL good. That includes exercise, but find exercise you like or enjoy. Since becoming a stay at home mom, I have had the awesome opportunity to make time daily for at least 30 minutes of time to sweat (as I like to call it) and time for movement throughout the day as I play with my daughter, dance with her, vacuum the floor, and go on walks. The mental clarity and overall better view of life has been a direct result of daily exercise. It's so good for you--but it's even better if you enjoy it. This will allow you to listen to your body and feel good in your body-which will in turn help you to appreciate and value your body. Actively valuing your body will naturally lead to a healthier lifestyle. Sometimes when we try to force things, it makes us feel badly about our bodies or it almost seems like punishment. No matter where you are in your health journey, please don't punish yourself. Love yourself and you'll see how quickly your body will start to love you back.

Find a Support System

This will look different for every person. Not only do you need to remove negative influences, but you want to incorporate positive ones. Whether that's an online community, family members, friends, or even divine influence--make sure you let everyone know what your goal is and that they can help you. I have personally let my husband know what kind of support I need from him and what my goals are ultimately. I have to be extremely clear with him. I have also been working really hard on working through some of my bigger issues with my Heavenly Father. Some of the LDS conference talks this past weekend are going to be studied in depth as I do so-including this one.

I am talking about my conscious decision not to lose the weight right now on the blog today while I work on some things to improve my body image. I plan to tackle all of the things I shared her today in-depth and more in the future. I'd love it if you wanted to join the conversation!

Sharlee from My New Lines
blog // twitter // instagram // pinterest
Sharlee is a wife, mom, and the writer behind My New Lines. A blog about the things most important to her in her life as a woman. I don't take many selfies or wear skinny jeans, but I exhaust myself trying to take a pictures of my daughter and revel in a good pair of PJ's at night! Navigating life as a woman is always better with friends, I'd love to meet more!

How do you love your body?

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Golden Vlog // October 2015

Oh my goodness, this month's Golden Vlog is deep and definitely authentic and raw. So, let's just jump right in, shall we?



Life w/ Mrs G & the Artist

What are your insecurities? How are you overcoming them?

Friday, May 8, 2015

Dreaming In English

I have a problem--I can never come out of a bookstore without a new book. So, I typically like to look on the bargain shelves and stands.

Now, I'm a huge fan of The Kite Runner, 1001 Splendid Suns, Bollywood, and other books and movies that have to do with the Middle East. I don't know why, I just feel it fascinating to see how they view life and their feelings on freedom and independence. I guess it just reminds me not to take it for granted as I have lived in the US my entire life.

I recently read Dreaming in English by Laura Fitzgerald. I found it on the clearance shelf at Barnes and Noble and was caught by the cover. What I didn't realize until I actually started reading the book was that it is the sequel! But, it's good enough to stand alone!


Dreaming in English is about Tami, who managed to get a visitor's visa allowing her to visit America from Iran. Her main purpose was to "go and wake up her luck." She wanted to find a husband to stay in America rather than return to corrupted Iran. She met Ike, while engaged to an Irani-American. They fell in love, and after a whirlwind of Tami refusing to marry her "fiance", almost returning to Iran with no hope, Ike proposing to her, knowing her situation, and a Vegas Elvis marriage, they have to deal with the consequences.

Tami deals with prejudice and distrust of Ike's parents, who believe it was solely a green-card marriage rather than one of love, hurt and upset Irani-American ex-fiances, her sister's American pregnancy, her parents hesitating to try and come to America, and the dreaded Immigration/Marriage interview.

The book focuses on freedom, courage, and mainly, finding oneself. It did very well with those themes, and was a nice, comfy read. However, I don't think it was the best written ever. Something about just didn't sing to me...and the characters were almost stereotypes of characters, especially Ike. He was the perfect, romantic, innocent, and righteously-rash and mad type of man. The mother-in-law was also the typical "monster-in-law." A lot of the events that happened were "ex-machina".

But, it was still a good, interesting, and surprisingly captivating read.
I'd give it a 3.5 out of 5 stars!

Would you read this novel? Why or why not?

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Golden Vlog // April

This month's Golden Vlog is all about inner and outer beauty. It's been a long journey for me to feel that I have both.


Have you noticed that I talk with my hands almost as much as I do with my mouth? Holy cow!

Also, here is a post I wrote on my view on postpartum self-image: I am Beautiful 


What do you think makes someone beautiful?

Sunday, November 2, 2014

A Month of Confidence--Image and Health

Welcome to the first week of A Month of Confidence!
This weekend has been a hard weekend--I've had a lot on my plate that hasn't gotten done because I haven't felt well, physically or mentally. So, I'm glad to be starting this week.

This first week of November, we are going to focus on image and health.

A Month of Confidence
Last week, I wrote a post about accepting the beauty of my postpartum body. I have always struggled with self-image my entire life and feeling healthy in my body. The past few weeks have been hard with health as well, since it's gotten much colder (and I don't feel right dragging my baby with me) and our stroller is flat, so I haven't been running.

But, instead of sitting and giving up, I can do something about this. I can still take a few minutes out of my hectic schedule to care for myself.

Here is my plan for the Week of Image and Health Confidence:
- I will make sure to actually make myself a lunch every day this week
- I will have oatmeal or grits for breakfast twice this week, rather than cereal every day
- I won't have any fast food this week, nor soda
- I will do my hair every day and do my makeup every day
- I will tell myself I am beautiful, or some other compliment, twice a day
- I will do at least pushups, curlups, planks, and lunges every day
- I will smile every day

I suggest that you also keep a confidence journal. I am, and each day I will have 3 lists:
1) Drops of Awesome--little things I did or accomplished
2) Little Moments--I have a quote in my living room that says, "Enjoy the little things in life, for someday they will be the big things."
3) Grateful List--small blessings

Sunday, November 9: Confidence in all relationships
Sunday, November 16: Confidence in work and hobbies
Sunday, November 23: Confidence in house and home
Sunday, November 30: Reflection on a Month of Confidence





What is your plan for the Week of Image and Health Confidence?

Friday, October 31, 2014

A Month of Confidence

If you couldn't have guessed it, I have actually been suffering with a small amount of postpartum depression. Add that to my anxiety and lowered self-image and self-esteem, and I've become a wreck.

It's been so very hard the past two and a half months trying to balance being a wife, mom, homemaker, teacher, daughter/sister, and blogger, as well as try to enjoy time for myself, and not to mention this summer moving, and Justin trying to finish his education and finding a job. I've an anxiety attacks, days where I've given up on teacher responsibilities, days where I needed Justin to be the main parent, days where I've let the house look like a pigsty, days where I don't believe I'll be as fit as I once was, and honestly, . (That's not to say I haven't had really good days, too.)

Well, I've decided enough is enough. It's time to change the way I'm thinking. I'm tired of being stressed out and unhappy. I want to be confident. 

Confident in how I look and feel, confident in my relationships and roles, confident in everything I do and think.

So, I've decided that next month, I'm going to dedicate each week to working on a different aspect of confidence. Every Sunday, I'll make a goal here on the blog for that aspect of confidence. I'll open it up to be a link-up (I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to improve their confidence.

Sunday, November 2: Confidence in image and health
Sunday, November 9: Confidence in all relationships
Sunday, November 16: Confidence in work and hobbies
Sunday, November 23: Confidence in house and home
Sunday, November 30: Reflection on a Month of Confidence

I suggest that you also keep a confidence journal. I am, and each day I will have 3 lists:
1) Drops of Awesome--little things I did or accomplished
2) Little Moments--I have a quote in my living room that says, "Enjoy the little things in life, for someday they will be the big things."
3) Grateful List--small blessings

I've also made a button each week for if you want to participate =)

Come join in A Month of Confidence with The Morrell Tale





Wednesday, October 29, 2014

I Am Beautiful

I have been thinking about beauty a lot recently: outward beauty, inner beauty, society's view of beautiful, motherhood's version, and how our God sees our beauty.

To me, beauty is feeling confident with yourself--how you look, how you feel in your body, how you perceive the day. And to be honest, it's been a little hard for me the past few months. But, I finally think I'm doing ok.


I want to start with a little anecdote. My parents spent thousands of dollars to make sure I had good teeth: braces, retainers, dentist cleanings and cavity fillings, toothpaste and toothbrushes in our Christmas stocking. And yet, did you know that I am missing a tooth? I have a beautiful smile, but somehow, my genes forgot to create one adult molar! At age 13, getting my braces, I still had one baby molar. The orthodontist had to sand the width down to match the adult molars. The dentists said it could come out the next year, in 10 years, or in my grave. Well, as much as I took care of my teeth, that lone baby tooth decided to give up the ghost in 2010, and we had it pulled. We couldn't afford for me to get a bridge or an implant (and I still can't). But, it didn't bother me because I couldn't see it.


The same applies to some of the changes my body has gone through after carrying and birthing my first child. I didn't have stretchmarks until after labor! But, I don't really mind them all that much. And, no one else can see them...that's probably the main reason I don't mind them. Like my tooth, they aren't noticeable.

I am also actually experiencing post-partum hair loss. I have naturally thick, curly red hair. I am used to clogging up the drain and filling up the bristles on my brush every other week or so. But now, I have to do so almost every day! I already had a pretty thin hair line on my forehead, but it's even more pronounced now. Thankfully, I have really cute accessories to mask it when I wear my hair up.

But, the biggest, and most noticeable change to me is my weight and figure. Now, you may say, "Tayler, you look great! You didn't really look pregnant at 9 months, and you are stunning now." I'll say, "Thanks, but I can still feel the difference."

I have been very thin my entire life. I am 5'7.5" and have always had a good BMI and been on the lower end of the range for healthy weight. The heaviest I ever weighed was my senior year of high school at 150lbs. It was a stressful time--I was graduating and my family was moving. I also worked at an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet. That summer, I decided to start running and work out. By the time my freshman year of college was over (10 months later), I had lost 18 pounds! Since 2009, I've weighed anywhere between 132-137 pounds. I was running and exercising, I was eating healthily, and I felt and looked great! I loved being able to feel thin, but notice the tone and muscle I had accumulated. I loved the fact that my husband could easily wrap his arms almost completely around me. I was confident, and I had always struggled with my body image.


Last year, working 50 minutes away, and getting pregnant, my time to work out disappeared. But, I didn't fear. I knew that if I made healthy choices, I'd still be ok with my weight. And, during the whole pregnancy, I only put on 35 pounds! After a week or two of giving birth, I was already down to 148 pounds. And there I have stayed.

I know that this weight is pretty dang average for my height, but I've struggled with how I've felt about it. I have extra fat on my love handles, my tummy, my cheeks, and my thighs that weren't there before. I don't necessarily like it. I feel heavier. I don't feel in shape. I miss being as skinny as I was. I miss relatives and friends telling me how great and thin I looked. I miss feeling like I've just worked out.

After I got the 6 week clearance, I started to go running again. It was much harder than before pregnancy. 1) I hadn't gone running for a year! 2) I was now pushing a baby in a running stroller. 3) Where I live is all hills and I've never really ever been good at running those. But, it fit in nicely with Rhys and my schedule. Except, about two weeks ago, one of the tires on the stroller popped and we haven't been able to fix it just yet.

Now, I still am healthy (for the most part). I don't pig out and I do try to stretch or workout at home. But, I feel different.


A few weeks ago, I wore this outfit, saw myself in the mirror,  and thought to myself, "Dang, I look good!" I had forgotten how long my legs are and how nice they look on my body. So, I started to accentuate them. Justin, my sisters, and my mom have all commented on how I actually have curves now (look at the picture of me in the skirt...I had a tiny hour-glass shape, but I was mostly a stick). Now, I have actual curves. So, I started to accentuate them. My bosom is noticeable, my butt is a little bigger, and my hips are wider, giving me a real noticeable hour-glass shape. As I walk up our stairs, sometimes I watch my shadow. I watch my hips sway back and forth. I like that. I thought to myself:

I am beautiful.

My mom says, "It took 9 months for you to gain that weight. Expect the same amount of time to lose it." I think back to the first time I saw Gone With the Wind as a junior high student. Scarlet O'Hara had just had a baby and was trying to put her corset on so she'd have a 19" waist again. Mammy, her slave, measured her and said that she just birthed a baby. Her body would never be the same afterward. I had prepared for that my whole life. And I was ok with that, as long as I wasn't overweight. Then, I met my sisters-in-law, each who have given birth four times, and look astounding with beautiful figures. I know it's possible to get my body back the way it was.

But, for now, I'm taking it slow, and I am ok with that. It is important for me to listen to my body and remember what it is meant to do: give Rhys life and nourishment. And so far, it has done a wonderful job of that, and for that, I am thankful.

Because I am still beautiful.

And, although I still miss the way my body used to be, I am finding things I like about the way I look right now and ways to like my current beautiful body.

Here are some of ways to realize you are beautiful, even postpartum:
--Listen to your family members compliment your body and believe them
--Congratulate yourself on surviving labor (or a C-section). Your body did what it was meant to do.
--Go shopping! Your body is probably a different shape now or fills out different areas. Find new
clothes that accentuate your new, beautiful areas.
--Look at how your child looks at you. They love you for being you. That's what truly matters.
--Indulge in a nice, long, warm shower or bath.
--Do what you can to exercise: run, yoga, stretch, curl ups.
--Wear cute hair things.
--Put on makeup even if you aren't leaving the house.
--Smile. Looking at yourself smile can be a huge confidence booster.
--Be intimate with your husband--you'll feel beautiful, and he'll think so, too.
--Read other postpartum blog posts on beauty, depression, and other shared experiences. You'll realize you aren't alone in it.
--Compliment yourself on one part of your body each day.
--Tell yourself you are beautiful.


How did you come to love your postpartum body? What would you add to the list?




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