The Pros and Cons of Having a Firstborn Child This Weekend

It's been quite the ride this past week and a half. While the rest of the nation is getting feet of snow, we've had beautiful weather in Utah. But, Rhys and I have only gotten a few hours of sleep a night. So, as the worrisome new mother that I am, let me tell you about our weekend. The cons first, then the pros so we can end on a happy note.

The Cons of having a firstborn baby this weekend:
- This past week Rhys hasn't been sleeping well, waking up 2-3 times a night and not being able to resettle himself without us rocking and rocking him to sleep.
- Me not getting sleep, then having to deal with (most of the time sometimes) immature and irresponsible 7th graders.
- Rhys showing all signs of hardcore teething for the past week and a half, and yet, even today, no teeth showing.
- Rhys getting a fever of 102* (his first ever) on Sunday and his typical attitude of happiness, excitement, and playfullness replaced with whines and only wanting to cuddle.
- Rhys having great difficulty breathing at night due to stuffiness.
- Rhys barely eating or drinking all weekend due to stuffiness, sore throat, and general unwellness.
- We did go to instacare on Monday, but they said it wasn't (yet) an ear infection or bronchitis, but to keep an eye on his fever and if his chest was rattly (meaning if the mucus migrated from his sinuses to his lungs).
- Wishing I was able to take today off to take care of Rhys like I was able to yesterday.
- Hours of worry and pity for my baby boy because I'm new at this and I worry about his health--is he getting enough sleep? is he getting enough fluids? how else can I get him nutrients and help his body fight this possible flu off?, all done with very little sleep.

The Pros of having a firstborn baby this weekend:
- The help I got yesterday, which allowed me to catch up on sleep. THANK YOU!
- Having my husband stay home on the weekend instead of going down to Nephi to have his brother help us with taxes and other financial stuff.
- Justin doing the cooking, cleaning, and errand running while I took care of Rhys.
- Seeing Rhys play with his little piano and try to figure out how his toy truck works.
- Watching Rhys have the time of his life during his bath.
- Having some much needed cuddle time with Rhys--he'd rather look around and play than cuddle with me.
- Being able to walk to the park on Saturday while Rhys was feeling well and enjoying the weather.

So, here are some adorable pictures we took of Rhys at the park.

There were a lot of kids at the park and Rhys spent most of his time just watching them.

You can tell with this picture, that he already wasn't starting to feel well.

There were these weird "pom-pom" balls of seeds from a tree. They had an interesting texture.

And of course, Rhys tried to eat it, but he didn't like it at all.

So, instead, he decided to go with a stick.

Practicing Pat-A-Cake

Watching the cars go by--one of his favorite things

Even though during this outing, Rhys was starting to drop, he enjoyed it. He loves the outdoors. Normally, he is very hyperactive, but once we take him outdoors, he quiets down immediately because he's so busy taking everything in. I love that my boy enjoys being outside!

Please keep him in your prayers and hope he recovers soon!

Mending

Justin reporting in.
After nearly a week of this

Sickness, medicine, a serious lack of ability to eat, medicine, trying to sleep, missing work, missing school, not being able to eat food, a frantically worrying wife (whom I love), medicine, midnight ER visits, migraines, and an inability to eat food...

I can finally say...

A serious thank you to so many people to were there to help us through this miserable speed bump in our lives.  So much help, hope and prayers came our way from known and unknown sources and we thoroughly appreciate it.

But in all seriousness....Can I just say how thankful I am that I can eat food again?

My wife has mentioned several times my love of food, and every word of it is true.  So now that I'm feeling significantly better, and my mother's grocery run in response to my wife's plea for help, my wife was able to make me an actual meal.

And I am working back up to my normal level of tolerance.  Its good to be able to eat food again.  Easily one of the most difficult things is "take with food" medicine.

But in all honestly, I took a lot of medicine.  I mean my stomach may as well have been a pharmacy.  There was a definite imbalance of food-to-medicine ratio in my stomach.  I barely had any food at all.

See what I mean?  I ate more for breakfast today than I've eaten for Monday-Wednesday combined!

Anyways, long post short, I'm glad I can eat food again.

When Worry Hits Hard

I am worried. More so than I have been before. The reason I have decided to write this post was because of two posts: Suzzie Vehrs's on Fear and Sierra Penrod's on Anxiety. I have experienced both in my life to varying degrees. 

The first time I truly felt fear was in 8th grade. I lived in Stafford, VA at the time. The same time and place as the Sniper Shootings. My neighborhood and my school were surrounded by forest. It'd be all to easy for him to sneak behind a tree and shoot me. Or, since I slept in the basement, sneak under our porch in the pitch darkness and shoot me through my window. I was reading scriptures one day, and fell upon these verses: Proverbs 3: 21-26. It really helped--Christ telling me directly that he will watch over me and keep me safe.

I have felt anxiety numerous, numerous times: big projects, finals, surprises even. I felt it almost every day during my student teaching internship last year. The beginning of the year was so bad for me, Justin had to force me to actually eat my dinner.

However, this week, my worry has been a combination of both fear and anxiety. My worry is not about myself, but about my husband. 

He has a pre-existing condition. That is all I am saying. It is his choice to indulge more or keep it private and I respect that. Recently, he started a new medication--a pill! We were so excited for him to only have to take an oral pill as opposed to his previous medication. He started it about two weeks ago. About last Thursday, he got a sore throat and headache, but we were still able to have the time of our lives with his family during the holiday weekend. We were both able to go to all 3 hours of church on Sunday and both felt fine (I didn't even get any degree of headache, which I typically do). Then, Sunday evening, we helped out some friends by taking them to the ER. Justin started to feel bad then. We thought it was maybe just bad memories popping in. We went home and he was cold--Justin is never cold. Even in the winter, he sleeps without any covering. He spent all night hacking and coughing and dry heaving. 

Monday was the same--hacking, coughing, dry heaving, sore throat, heavy head, couldn't stomach anything. I've said it and Justin has said it: he loves food. So, when the only thing he eats all day is a banana and a piece of toast, you know something is wrong. Monday night, we try to go to bed. He is up and out almost every 10 minutes, saying how he needs to throw up. I have never seen my husband this sick or disheartened or in this much pain. It scared me. We decided to go to the ER. 

The doctors and nurses there were very nice and very helpful. They gave him some medicine for his nausea and stomach pains, but said they weren't sure what it is. We mentioned about the new medication and wondered if that was causing it, but the ER doctor hadn't really heard of it (it is, afterall, a new medicine for Justin's condition, so that was understandable). We ended up thinking Justin got a bug coincidentally the same time he started the new medication and the pill was just exacerbating the symptoms. Justin was able--for the most part--to sleep the rest of the night.

Yesterday, he was doing  a bit better--even able to down half a cup of rice and veggies. He said the stomach medication was helping and was able to get some rest throughout the day. The worst part, though, about yesterday, is the fact that it was Justin's birthday. What a crappy gift. However, as much as it looked like he was improving, that all disappeared last night. We hardly slept a wink again--coughing, barfing, can't find a comfortable way to sleep.

This morning, he tells me that he really does think it is the pill. He called the pharmacy and they think it may be the pill. So, we may be going back to the hospital today. I am scared. This is my husband--my rock, my man who never worries or frets, who (even with his condition) never gets sick  and hardly gets headaches, my food-devour-er who can't eat a single piece of toast, my hard-studying statistician who is trying to finish school. I am worried, desperately worried. I knew since our first date about Justin's health. During our engagement, it made me worried. I even wrote about it here. But he's never been this affected. He is so hungry and tired and weak, and the isn't anything I can do about it. I can't sleep, I can barely eat myself. How in the world can I help him when I can't even help myself from being worried sick over him? Our apartment is a mess, there aren't any clean dishes, we are running out of food (I don't want to go grocery shopping with him in this condition). I am more worried about him than I've ever been before. 

But, for all this hopelessness and forlorn coming from both of us, I am trying desperately to have faith. I am reading the scriptures out loud to both of us. We are continually praying not only for his recovery, but our friend's as well. His family knows and are praying, too. I know down the road he'll be fine, but I'm worried about the here and now. I know we'll be able to get through it, but with what consequences? Going back to the medication he hates with passion? Getting really behind on his studies? I am surprised I'm not worried about the expense of the hospital visits we had/will have. But, I have to keep faith. In the Book of Mormon (the other set of scriptures for the LDS church), there is a passage --1 Nephi 3:7 " And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." Along with this, is the axiom, that God won't give us trials we can't overcome. So, for now, I'll let this be my hope. Justin and I can both overcome this. Justin has this condition because he is strong enough to deal with it. I married him because I am strong enough to help and care for him.

Though, I still will ask the blogosphere to send us prayers.