Dealing with a Loss

I just lost a friend. I don't know how it happened, or why it did. No, I know how it happened, I just don't understand why it did. Why now, when I needed her the most.
It is the hardest thing I have to deal with - almost unbare able. I want to crawl into bed and give up. I can't imagine my college life without her.

After a full hour of crying to myself, I finally was able to make it into the kitchen and cook some dinner. A couple sniffles later, I had a calming sensation and this phrase popped into my head: "At this point in time, all you can do is continue walking and hope you won't fall." Then, someone told me, "Turn to the Lord."

Slowly during the summer, I had gotten better at turning to the Lord, my hopes were high, then shattered. This morning, during my personal scripture reading, I read Isaiah 41:10 - "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am they God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." If I hadn't read that scripture this morning to prepare me for my loss, I probably would have reacted in anger.  Although when you are hurting from a loss, "Turn to the Lord" is almost one of the last things you want to hear, it is true. I can't give up this semester. I can't stop living life. All I can do is silently cry but I have to keep walking and hope I don't fall. And maybe, just maybe, there will be someone at the end waiting for me.